Jama
Ivan Goran
Kovačić 1942-43
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The Pit
Ivan Goran Kovačić 1942-43. g.
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traduzione Alec
Brown
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I
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I
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Krv je moje svjetlo i moja tama.
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BLOOD is my daylight, and darkness too.
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Blaženu noć su meni iskopali
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Blessing of night has been gouged
from my cheeks
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Sa sretnim vidom iz očinjih jama;
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Bearing with it my more lucky
sight.
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Od kaplja dana bijesni oganj pali
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Within those holes, for tears,
fierce fire inflamed
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Krvavu zjenu u mozgu, ko ranu.
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The bleeding socket as if for
brain a balm -
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Moje su oči
zgasle na mome dlanu.
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While my bright eyes died on my own palm.
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Sigurno još su treperile ptice
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While played, I never doubt, God's
feathered creatures,
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U njima, nebo blago se okrenu;
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Reflected still in them, and clouds' procession;
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I ćutio sam, krvavo mi lice
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But all I felt were my
blood-spattered features,
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Utonulo je s modrinom u zjenu;
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Bruised gulfs in that once
brilliant profusion.
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Na dlanu oči
zrakama se smiju
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Haw radiant lay my eyeballs in my
hand,
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I moje suze ne mogu da liju.
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Yet from those eyes no tear could
more descend!
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Samo kroz prste kapale su kapi
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Then ever other fingers ran the
warm
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Tople i guste koje krvnik nađe
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Coagulating blood my slaughterer
found
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Još gorčom mukom duplja koje zjapi
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By the profounder agony of holes
he formed
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Da bodež u vrat zabode mi slađe:
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For better grip, more sensuously
to wound;
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A mene dragost ove krvi uze,
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But me the softness of my blood
enthralled,
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I ćutio sam kaplje kao suze.
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And I rejoiced as blood were red
tears falling.
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Posljednje svjetlo prije strašne noći
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The final light before the
frightful night
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Bio je bljesak munjevita noža,
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The lightning swooping of the
polished knife,
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I vrisak, bijel još i sad u
sljepoći,
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The cry too white still in my
blinded sight,
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I bijela, bijela krvnikova koža;
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The bleach-white bodies of the murderers,
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Jer do pojasa svi su bili goli
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Who stripped their torsos for
their sweaty task -
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I tako nagi oči su nam boli.
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Was dazzling even to my blinded
mask.
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O bolno svjetlo, nikad tako jako
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O painful daylight, never so hard
yet
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I oštro nikad nisi sinulo u zori,
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Or penetrating did you break the East
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U strijeli, ognju; i ko da sam
plako
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With fiery arrow; I might have thought I shed
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Vatrene suze s kojih duplje gori;
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Teardrops with leaping flames that
seared my cheeks
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A kroz taj pako bljeskovi su
pekli,
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Through all that hell so many
lightnings bent,
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Vriskovi drugih mučenika sjekli.
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So many cries of other victims
rent.
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Ne znam koliko žar je bijesni trajo,
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What time that furious
conflagration fanned,
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Kad grozne kvrge s duplja rasti
stanu,
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All that I knew of time were
callouses for eyes,
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Ko kugle tvrde, i jedva sam stajo.
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Hard-grown and
aching; and could hardly stand.
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Tad spoznah skliske oči na svom
dlanu
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And only then my slippery eyeballs
fingered
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I rekoh: „Slijep sam, mila moja
mati,
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And knew - and cried: My sight, O
Mother mine, is gone.
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kako ću tebe sada oplakati...”
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How shall I weep when your life too is done?
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A silno svjetlo, ko stotine zvona
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Then dazzling daylight like a
myriad carillons
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Sa zvonika bijelih, u pameti
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From endless gleaming bell-towers
in my crazy
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Ludoj sijevne: svjetlost sa Siona,
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Brain illumined like the lights of
Zion,
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Divna svjetlost, svjetlost koja
svijeti!
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A lovely light - a light which
sanctified -
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Svijetla ptico, Svijetlo drvo!
Rijeko!
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Bright birds, bright river, trees
and, brilliant
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Mjeseče! Svjetlo ko majčino
mlijeko!
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Boon pure as
mother's milk, still brighter moon.
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Al ovu strašnu bol već nisam čeko:
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Now came a torture I had never guessed
-
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Krvnik mi reče: „Zgnječi svoje oči!”
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My murderer commanded “Break your own
eyes!”
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Obezumljen sam skoro preda nj
kleko,
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I nearly prayed for mercy to the
beast,
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Kad grč mi šaku gustom sluzi
smoći;
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But slimy-fingered spasmic hands
obeyed -
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I više nisam ništa čuo, znao:
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And then no more I heard, no more
could tell,
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U bezdan kao u raku sam pao.
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To empty nothing faltered, and I feel.
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II
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II
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Mokraćom hladnom svijestili me
Ćuške
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WITH chilly urine woke me, and with blows
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Dijelili, vatrom podigli me silom;
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Belaboured fire back to my head,
and then
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I svima redom probadali uške
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These executioners pierced our ear
lobes
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Krvnici tupim i debelim šilom
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With blunted, clumsy spikes, each
one in turn -
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„Smijte se!” - ubod zapovijedi
prati -
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“Laugh, laugh!” they ordered, as
they thrust their tools,
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Oboce svima pred krst ćemo dati!”
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“Ear-rings are fire for
force-converted fools!”
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I grozan smijeh, cerekanje, grohot
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Then horrid laughter, sobbing,
loud and wild
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Zamnije ko da grohoću mrtvaci;
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Reverberated as if dead men laughed;
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I same klače smete ludi hohot
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But crazy humour hindered those
defiled -
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Pa svaki bičem na žrtve se baci.
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To silence us our wilted flesh
they flayed;
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A mi
smo dalje u smijanju dugu
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But endless now in our long choking wit,
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Plakali, praznih duplja, mrtvu
tugu.
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With gaping sockets our dead sorrow wept.
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Kada smo naglo, ko mrtvi, umukli
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Then suddenly like corpses we were
still
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(Od straha valjda što smo ipak živi),
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(No doubt from fear lest we were
still alive) -
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U red za uške otekle nas vukli,
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Tugged by our swollen ears they
dressed us, till
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I nijemi bol na stranu sve nas
privi;
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The silent torture turned us all
awry
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(U muku čuli iz šume smo pticu):
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(But birds that sang to us, not one
did tire)
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provlačili su kroz uške nam žicu
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While through
our tattered lobes was drawn a wire.
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I svaki tako, kada bi se mako,
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So each man of us if the least he
starts
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Od bola strašna muklo bi zarežo.
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Howls dully when he feels the
frightful pain.
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„Šutite!” - rikne krvnik - „nije
lako,
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“Silence” - the executioner - “we
know it smarts,
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Al potrebno je da tko ne bi bježo.”
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But we're
not going to let you go again!”
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I nitko od
nas glavom da potrese
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Not one
of us could even shake his head
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I drugom slijepcu šuti bol nanese.
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But give another blinding pain
instead.
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Krvožednike smiri žičan lokot
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That warder wire appeased our
cruel captors,
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I umorni su u hlad bliski sjeli;
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And, tired, nearby they sat down in
the shade;
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I začuo se vode mrzli klokot
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Refreshing water gurgle then was
heard
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U žarku grlu, i glasno su jeli,
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Down parching throats, laud
pleasure as they ate,
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Ko poslije teška posla; zatim
stali
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As if they'd laboured hard, till
they began
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Jedan sa drugim da se grubo šali.
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To pass
foul, slimy jokes from man to man.
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Zaboravili kao da su nas:
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Then even seemed our presence was
forgotten;
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Zijevali, vjetre puštali su
glasne.
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We heard them yawn and break their
wind at leisure.
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„Eh, jednu malu vidio sam danas...”
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“Oh boy,
I saw a skirt today” - a rotter
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Dobaci netko, uz primjedbe masne.
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Spat dirty observations from his
tongue.
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I opet klokot hladna vina ili vode
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Thus passed their noon, in wine or
cooling water -
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Trgne slijepce - žica me probode.
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Ours passed on
burning wire, strung for the slaughter.
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III
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III
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U mome redu počela
da ludi
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NOW in my rank a girl went mad and
shrieked
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Neka žena. Vikala je: „Gori!
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Her warning — “Men! Fire! the house is burning,
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Ljudi, gori! Kuća gori! Ljudi!”
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Fire!” And now the wire strung
through us wreaked
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A žica ljuto počela
da pori
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New agony and rent distorted gaps
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Nabreknute, grozne naše uši.
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In all our monster ears until she
fell
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Na tla se žena ugušena sruši.
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And choking lay, oblivious to hell.
“Blind sockets,
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„Dupljaši! Ćore! Lubanje mrtvačke”
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deaths-head skulls, you purblind
rats,
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Sove! U duplja dat ćemo vam žere
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We'll doctor you with hot coals in
those holes
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Da progledate! Vi, ćorave mačke!”
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To make you
see again, blind blinking bats!”
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Zareži pijan koljač kao zvjere
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And, as he spoke, a drunken murderer
lent
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I slijepcu nožem odcijepi lice
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Leering forward, and slashed down
through a face,
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Od uha što se zaljulja vrh žice.
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To leave its ear still dangling,
wired in place.
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Urlik i teški topot slijepe žrtve
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We heard the victim's cry, his
frenzied pace
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(Što bježeć kroz mrak uvis noge
diže),
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As, thus released, down maddened dark
he ran;
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I brz trk za njom, sred tišine
mrtve,
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Through mortal silence then we
heard the chase,
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I tupi pad, kad lovca nož je stiže
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And, as the knife struck twice, his
heavy fall.
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O, taj je spašen! — rekoh svojoj
tami
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So one
is saved, I told my night of it,
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Ne opazivši da nas vode k jami.
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No knew they led our steps towards
the pit.
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Srce je muklo šupljom grudi tuklo;
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I heard the heart dull in my hollow
breast
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Tad druga srce preko žice začuh.
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And through the wire to others' beating
harked;
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Lupanje ludo naprijed nas je
vuklo.
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To that dumb drum we pressed our
steps ahead
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(Što srce skaču kad u mraku plaču!)
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(Haw loud it rumbled through the
weeping dark!)
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I od
te lupe progledah kroz rupe:
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By that tattoo I saw through holes
for eyes
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U jasnom sjaju misli mi se skupe.
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My thoughts assemble as in bright
sunrise.
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I vidjeh opet, ko još ovog jutra,
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And saw again, as I had seen at dawn,
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Duboku jamu, juče iskopanu.
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The hollow pit which yesterday we
dug;
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Napregnuh sluh da čujem kad unutra
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I strained my hearing and at last
it came -
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Uz tupi udar prve žrtve panu.
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That sudden flat sound as each
victim fell -
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Oštrom svijesti odlučuh da brojim:
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Knife-edged, my thought itself
began to tell
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Ja, pedeseti što u redu stojim.
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The forty-nine before me, known so
well.
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I čekao sam. Skupljao sam točne
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And, waiting fingered memory's index,
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Podatke: tko je već nestao straga,
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Ticked whom they took before,
behind, all round -
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Tko sprijeda - zbrajo, odbijao,
dok počne
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So add, subtract, until the
following blows
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Udaranje, padovi. Sva snaga
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Descend and new men die; till all
my strength
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mozga u jasnoj svijesti se
napregnu
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Of mind to dazzling clarity was
grown.
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Da promjene mi pažnji ne izbjegnu.
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To let no change take place, and
pass unknown.
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Negdje je cvrčak pjevo; oblak
pokri
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Somewhere cicadas sang; a single cloud
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Začas u letu sjenom cijelo polje.
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Brushed fleeting shadow over everything.
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Čuo sam kako jedan krvnik mokri,
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I heard one murderer nature easing
loudly,
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A drugi stao široko da kolje.
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The while another, heated, wildly
slew -
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Sve mi to zasja u sluhu ko u vidu.
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All this engraved like sight, and
glittered clear
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Sa bljeskom sunca na nožnome brdu.
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As sun upon the knife-edge, in my
ear.
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IV
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IV
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Kad prva žrtva počela da krklja,
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WHEN the first
sacrifice began to choke
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Čuh meki udar, i mesnata vreća
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I heard a silken sound, a fleshy
sack
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Padaše dugo. Znao sam: u grkljan
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Which settled slow.
I knew that first
the throat
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Dolazi prvi ubod, među pleća
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They stuck, then in between the shoulder-blades
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Drugi, a ruka naglo žrtvu grune
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A second thrust, then swiftly
pushed away
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U jamu gdje će s drugima da trune.
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To fill the pit, together to
decay.
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Netko se mrtvo ispred mene složi
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Before my blindness, limp and
dead, one fell,
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Il iza mene, riknuvši od straha,
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Then with a yell of fear, behind my back,
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A ja udarce silnom svijesti
množih,
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While my keen senses noted down each blow
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Odbijajući
pale istog maha,
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And every person dead, struck from
my list -
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Mada sam svakog - što kriknu,
zagrca -
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No man nor girl
who cried or sudden wept
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Ćutio kao ugriz u dno srca.
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But in my heart - my wound - their
agony leapt.
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Čovjek iz jame jeco je ko dijete,
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A comrade in the pit now whimpered
like a child,
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Tek priklan; cikto jezivo mu
glasak.
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Throat but half stuck - that sound
so ominous
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Streptih da račun moj se ne
pomete.
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Alarmed me lest I lost the list
compiled -
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Tad buknu u dnu bezdna bombe
prasak.
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Then down below a hand-grenade
they tossed -
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Tlo se zaljulja. Klonuće me
svlada.
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The firm earth rocked. A weakness
bend my shape;
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Nestala u spas posljednja mi nada.
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What hope now had I that I might
escape?
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Al silna svijest pažnjom me opsjednu:
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Yet consciousness triumphant still
possessed me;
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U sluh se živci, krv, meso i koža
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Now nerves and blood and flesh and
skin became
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Napregli. Zbrojih trideset i jednu
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A straining ear; I counted
thirty-one -
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žrtvu; šezdeset i dva boda noža.
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Sixty and two more strikings with
the knife -
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Slušo sam udar kojom snagom pada,
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I heard a blow which fell with
savage force,
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I meni
opet vratila se nada.
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And once again my folly took its
course.
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Na jauk iz bezdna sada nova prasne
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When now another cry for
intermission
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Bomba uz tutanj. I mrtva tjelesa
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Brought yet another hand-grenade,
new dead
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Padahu sad uz pljuske manje
glasne,
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Began to fall with thuds of less
precision,
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Kao u vodu, povrh kaše mesa.
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As if on
water, o'er a slush of flesh;
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Uto oćutjeh da po krvi kližem.
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And so in blood I feel my
foot-soles sink -
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Protrnuh: evo, i ja k jami stižem!
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A spasm shook me - I had reached the
brink.
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V
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V
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O vidio sam, vidio sve bolje,
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OH, THEN I saw, with suddenly
better sight,
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Ko da su
natrag stavljene mi oči:
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As if my eyes returned - but to my
back -
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I bijelu kožu, i nož koji kolje,
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That whitened skin, that knife
prepared to strike,
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I žrtve (kao jagnjad što se koči
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The victims too who while last
seconds tick
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Časkom pred klanje, al u redu bliže
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Stand stiff and still, yet
automatic steal
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Korak po
korak mirno k nožu stiže).
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By inches toward the knife their
nerves can feel.
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Bez prekidanja red se dalje mico
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Uninterruptedly the ranks moved
slowly on
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- Ko da na čelu netko nešto dijeli
-
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- As if some distribution was
ahead -
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Nit je tko viko, trzo se, narico;
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Not one that shouted, started back
or groaned,
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Na žezi strašnoj tih su nas želi
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While steadily in sultry air death mowed
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Ko mrtvo klasje koje jedva šušti.
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The deadripe corn, which fell with
only sound
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(To se čula krv što iz grla pljušti.)
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The fluent blood which spurted to
the ground.
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Korak po
korak pošli smo; stali opet:
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Thus step by step, with briefest
pause between -
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Krkljanje, udar, pad i opet korak.
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The croak, the knife, the thud;
the queue pace
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Začuh zvuk jače.
Ukočen, ko propet,
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Nearer, nearer still. Strained on a rack,
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Stadoh. Na usni tuđe krvi gorak
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I backed, felt on my lips the
bitter taste,
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Okus oćutjeh. Sad sam bio treći
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Another's blood, and thus became
the third
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Što jamu čeka u redu stojeći.
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Who waited at
the pit till it - occurred.
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Strašna mi tama, od sljepoće gora,
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The darkness more disgusting
through my blindness
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Sav um pomuti i na čula leže,
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Blasted my mind and cluttered
every sense -
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I za njom svjetlost ko stotine
zora:
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And sense beyond a thousand
daybreaks cried
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Iskro! Strijelo! Plamene! Sniježe!
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Intense - O arrow! O flame! O bewildering snow!
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Silno svjetlo bez ijedne sjene,
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Light, come at last devoid of any
shade,
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Ko oštar ubod igle usred zjene.
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With needles in my aching eyeballs
played.
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Drug se preda mnom
natrag k meni nago,
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The comrade next bent suddenly
towards me,
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Kao od
grča; onda je zastenjo,
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As if a cramp had gripped him,
then he groaned,
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Naprijed posrno, uzdahnuo blago -
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And, stumbling forward, set a soft
sigh free,
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I tihi uzdaj s krkljanjem mu
jenjo.
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That lonely sigh, consumed in his
death-rattle —
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Surva se, pljusnu kao riba Zine
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Swung downward, flopping like a
fish. With this,
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Preda mnom prostor bezdane
praznine.
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Before me gaped the bottomless
abyss.
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Sve pamtim: naprijed zaljuljah se,
natrag,
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Each detail fresh today - my body
swayed
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Bez ravnovjesja - kao da sam stao
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In space
- as if upon the final rung
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Jezive neke provalije na prag,
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Of endless nothing balanced there
before me,
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A iza mene drugi ponor zjao.
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And at my back another nothing hung.
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Bijela strijela u prsi mi sinu,
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A whitened arrow was my own throat
slit,
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Crna me šinu s pleći. U dubinu.
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Black death
the stab behind; before - the pit.
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VI
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VI
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U bezdanu uma jeza me okrijepi.
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BUT in the pit, by quivering heart
made keen,
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Osjetih hladno truplo gdje me
tišti,
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I felt the chilling corpse that
pressed me down,
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Hladnost smrti da mi tijelo lijepi.
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And my own clamour too, that webbed
me in.
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Strah sviješću sinu: Neka žena
vrišti!
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Fear flared my senses when a woman shrieked!
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U jami sam - tom ždrijelu našeg
mesa;
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I am in the pit, cold maw that took
our flesh,
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Ko mrtve ribe studena tjelesa.
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That took our corpses clammier
than fish.
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Ležim na lešu: kupu hladetine,
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I lay upon a corpse - a mould of
brawn,
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Mlohave, sluzne, što u krvi kisne,
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A flabby slimy thing in bloody
steep;
|
I spas sa jezom iz leda me vine:
|
Yet thought was rescued by that
human cold,
|
Svijest munjom blisne kada žena
vrisne.
|
And flashed new lightning when a
woman screamed.
|
Okrenuh se, u groznici tad k
vrisku
|
I turned in fever quick towards
the sound
|
Pružih ruku: napipah ranu sklisku.
|
And stretched my hand - to touch a
soft, wet wound.
|
|
|
|
|
I prvi puta sva životna snaga
|
For the first time my every ounce
of strength
|
Nad leševima stala da se skuplja;
|
Knotted together over all the dead;
|
Na vrisak skrenuh ruku, i u duplja
|
To hide that shriek I held my breath
and pressed
|
Lubanje zaboh prste; tijela naga
|
Deep fingers in my sockets -
bodies naked
|
Ko da su
sva zavrištala u jami -
|
Shrieked together in the darkened
pit,
|
Sav pako jeknu jezivo u tami.
|
And hell re-echoed with the din of
it.
|
|
|
|
|
Bomba će pasti! Užasnuh se prvo;
|
Then my new
fear awoke - grenades would fall!
|
U grču strašnu zgrabih rukom niže.
|
With awful spasm at first I thrust
and gripped
|
Zakoljak nađoh grozan. Leš se rvo
|
A woefully butchered limb - the
body crawled
|
Sa mnom i na me
počeo da kliže.
|
To writhe with me, and, writhing,
slipped,
|
Krkljo mu grkljan u krvavoj rani;
|
The blood-lapped gurgling gullet
gaping wide -
|
Korake začuh i glasove vani.
|
When footsteps came and voices spoke
outside.
|
|
|
|
|
O bože moj, zagrlila me žena
|
O heavens above, a woman's tense
embrace
|
Sad zagrljajem druge svoje smrti:
|
Of second death contained me and I felt
|
Kako joj koža lica nagrbljena...
|
My fingers ridging in her wrinkled
cheeks -
|
Starice! Bako! I uzeh joj trti
|
O whitened hairs! O Granny! and I held
|
Koščate ruke, i žarko ih ljubih.
|
Her bony hands and warmed them
with my breath,
|
Činilo mi se: mrtvu majku ubih.
|
Felt I
had caused my own dear mother's death.
|
|
|
|
|
Čuo sam kako umirući stenje,
|
I heard how she lamented as she
died,
|
I poželio ludo da oživi.
|
How passionately still she longed
to live.
|
Sve leševe tad molih oproštenje.
|
I begged all those now dead for
absolution.
|
Oćutjeh tvrdu usnu gdje se krvi -
|
I felt a twisted lip grown swiftly
stiff -
|
Obeznanih se. Kad sam opet skido
|
And fainted then. When once again I stripped
|
Mrak nesvijesti, još sam gorko
rido.
|
The darkness from my mind, my
flesh still wept.
|
|
|
VII
|
VII
|
|
|
Ušutjeh. Sam sam međ truplima
lednim,
|
STOPPED - alone - of all cold
corpses, first!
|
A studen smrti na leđa mi sjela,
|
But chill of death subtly up my spine;
|
Na udove. U ledu mrtvih žednim
|
My limbs - congealed in choirs of
dead men - thirsting
|
Vatrama nepca, jezika i ždrijela.
|
With gums and
tongue and gullet throbbing fire.
|
Led smrti šuti. U njem pako gori.
|
The ice
of death is still. Inside,
hell flamed,
|
A nigdje vriska da samoća ori.
|
Though not a cry, to give that
silence shame.
|
|
|
|
|
Taj grozni teret što na meni leži,
|
Yet that lewd burden pressing on my body
|
Ni smrtnim ledom neće da priušti
|
Not even with the ice of death can
slake
|
Hladnoću grla; a biva sve teži:
|
My burning throat; that ever
deader sod
|
Odjednom skoro viknuh: voda
pljušti!
|
Confines me - till I nearly shriek
for water -
|
Čujem gdje s vrha po truplima teče;
|
Then water sprinkles, near and far
by turns,
|
Ah, studen mlat! - al peče, peče,
peče!
|
On, cooling shower! that burns,
burns, burns!
|
|
|
|
|
Po goloj koži,
po leđnome jarku,
|
Over the naked skin, the vale of ice,
|
Niz trbuh, prsa, slabine i bute
|
Down belly, breast and flanks and
thighs at once
|
Potočić studen pali vatru žarku,
|
That cooling rivulet sets teasing
fire,
|
Dube u mesu kanaliće ljute.
|
And hollows angry furrows in the
flesh.
|
I kad na usnu mlazić žarki kapno,
|
A burning droplet on my stiff lips
traced,
|
Opaljen jezik kusnu živo vapno!
|
My tongue revealed to me the quicklime
taste.
|
|
|
|
|
Puna je jama: Na lešine liju
|
The pit chockfull, on carcases
they poured
|
Vapno da živim strvine ne smrde.
|
That fire, to spare the world our stealing
stench:
|
O hvala im, nas mrtve sada griju
|
I thanked them that, now dead,
they tried to warm
|
Plamenom svoje samilosti... Tvrde
|
Us with that charity
... I felt wrench
|
Leševe ćutim: trzaju se goli,
|
Of naked corpses as their sinews
turned,
|
Ko mrtve ribe kad ih kuhar soli.
|
Like long
dead fishes by crude saline burned.
|
|
|
|
|
Taj zadnji trzaj umirućeg živca,
|
That final spasm of nerves yet not
quite still,
|
Taj čudni drhtaj na kojem sam
plivo
|
That wondrous shudder on which I
now floated
|
Učini da sam blagosiljo krivca:
|
Compelled me bless the guilty one for this:
|
O gle! još truplo kraj mene je živo
-
|
When look!
a corpse beside me was alive -
|
To starica me hladnom rukom gladi,
|
Grey-haired old granny's icy hand
caressed
|
Jer zna da moji ne prestaše jadi!
|
Me, now she knew I still had not
found rest.
|
|
|
VIII
|
VIII
|
|
|
Kada se mrtvi val života stišo,
|
WHEN tat dead
wave of life again subsided,
|
Korake začuh ko daleku jeku:
|
I caught the sound of steps as
from afar -
|
Netko je jamu par puta obišo;
|
Somebody twice walked slowly round the site,
|
I nasta mir ko mir u mrtvu vijeku.
|
Then peace shone steady, like the
evening star.
|
pomakoh nogu, stegnuh lakta oba -
|
I bent, to rise, hitched feet up,
one by one,
|
Ko grobar kad se izvlači iz groba.
|
Like digger when his graveyard job is done.
|
|
|
|
|
Zaprepastih se: leševi se miču,
|
Then what surprise! The corpses
moved about,
|
Kližu nada me, polako se ruše -
|
Slid over
me and slowly settled in;
|
Smiju se, plaču, hropoću i viču,
|
They laughed and wept, groaned and
sighed and shouted,
|
Pružaju ruke i bijesno me guše...
|
Reached for me - gripped me -
furiously throttled -
|
Osjećah nokte, stražnjice, bokove,
|
I felt their nails, their
buttocks, and their thighs,
|
Trbuhe, usta što me živa love.
|
Their mouths and bellies corner me alive.
|
|
|
|
|
Prestavljen stadoh. Stadoše i oni.
|
From terror I was still - then
they still too -
|
Sad je težina manja. Mrtva noga
|
Their weight decreased, a dead leg
on my shoulder
|
Pala mi preko ramena. Ne goni
|
Dangled limp. They had pursued,
but now
|
Nitko me
više! - rekoh sebi; - To se
|
Pursed no more! - my climbing had undone
|
O vratu tvome splele ženske kose.
|
The dead
- I told myself. - That mangled noose
|
|
About your neck, a dead girl's locks
have tangled!
|
|
|
Prostrujo hladan zrak na moja usta
|
Soft air now brushed its coolness
on my mouth
|
Kroz sloj leševa: izlazu sam
blizu!
|
Between the dead
- then I was near escape!
|
I srknuh utopljenički: krv gusta
|
And as if drowning, gulped; and
thickened blood
|
kroz nosnice u
grlo oštro briznu.
|
Through nostrils spurted down my parching
throat.
|
Smijo sam se - al da me netko tako
|
I laughed aloud - yet who saw me
with gob
|
Nakreveljena vidje, taj bi plako
|
Of comrade's
blood bedecked, would sorely sob.
|
|
|
|
|
Il bi od straha sledio se, nijem
|
Or fear would petrify him, smite
his speech
|
Pred tom rugobom. Jer, što da se
tješim:
|
Before monstrosity like me — for why
|
Odsad će ljudi mislit da se smijem
|
Deceive myself when mast think I
grin
|
Kad plačem, i da plačem kad se
smiješim.
|
If i
am weeping, or, if smiling, cry?
|
Ta prazna duplja, gnijezda grozne
tame,
|
Yet, in these empty sockets none
may now forget
|
Sjećat
će svijet na crno ždrijelo jame.
|
Like their tenebrous depths, the
deadly pit.
|
|
|
|
|
I sama sebe osjećo sam krivim
|
For I could not relieve myself of
guilt
|
Što ostavljam u bezdnu te mrtvace,
|
Were I to leave my dead in that dark
hole.
|
Jer zrak je ovaj živ... a ja ne živim...
|
The air's alive - but do I also live?
|
I čekah da me opet natrag bace.
|
I half expected they would clutch
me to them -
|
Al rana živim bolom: živ si! reče.
|
But then my mortal wounds “You live!” declared.
|
Sabrah se. Vlaga! S njom se spušta veče.
|
Be brave! Day's
done — the evening damp is here!
|
|
|
IX
|
IX
|
|
|
O, nikad nisam očekivo tamu
|
OH, NEVER did I wait for darkness' coming
|
S tolikom čežnjom. Pazi! rosa
kliže
|
With such desire. For now the dew
was seeping
|
Niz trupla dođe do mene, u jamu!
|
Over the upper bodies down to me!
|
Užaren jezik počeo
da liže
|
My inflamed tongue set greedily to
lick
|
Kaplje sa ruku, nogu mrtvih tijela
|
Drops from the arms and legs of
those now dead,
|
Što su se na me
ko žlijeb nadnijela.
|
And down contorted gutters nectar
bled.
|
|
|
|
|
Pomamno sam i divlje se penjo,
|
Like a wind creature, maddened
then, I tried
|
Gazio prsa i trbuhe grubo -
|
To clamber out,
on bosom or on belly
|
I kad bi mrtav zrak iz trbuha
stenjo,
|
Treading, non when those things
like bellows sighed
|
Nisam već
trno. Vuko sam i
skubo
|
Did I pay heed, but clutched and
cramped my fingers
|
Dugačke kose, uspinjo se mesom,
|
In the still hair, wherever dead
flesh held,
|
Podjaren žeđom kao ludim bijesom.
|
Like maddened dog
by burning thirst compelled.
|
|
|
|
|
Nisam osjećo bola, straha, stida;
|
Now was I free from pain and fear
and shame,
|
Obarah leš za
lešom, grabih plazih
|
Free to betray and spurn the dead,
and crawl
|
Po njima ko po
zemlji što se kida.
|
On bodies as on sodden ground that
crumbled.
|
A možda svoju mrtvu sestru gazih,
|
Was it my sister that I trod - I
cared not;
|
Susjeda vukoh, lomih nježnu dragu.
|
Some friend I mauled, girl's
fragile bones I
shattered -
|
Žeđ mi je dala bezumlje i snagu.
|
My maddened thirst was master - what else
mattered?
|
|
|
|
|
Kad sam se divlje iz jame izvuko,
|
When like a beast I'd clambered
from the pit,
|
Zaboravih svijest, oprez, da l je mrko:
|
All wisdom, caution, fled, I cared
not any more
|
Tlom krvavim sam puzo, tijelo vuko
|
Who saw, but in blood crawled
about and dragged
|
Do trave: zvjerski, živinski je
srko;
|
Myself to pasture, quadrupedal
snorted,
|
Uranjo u nju, jeo je i guto
|
Rooted burning lips, and gaped, and sank
|
I ko po
rijeci livadom sam pluto.
|
My oblivious body as I crept and drank.
|
|
|
|
|
Dozvah se: usta, punih trave,
ležim,
|
At last twast done; with
grass-filled mouth I lay
|
Gorim, ledenim: u teškoj sam mori.
|
Twixt fire and ice, exhausted
beyond sense,
|
Spasen! O,
kamo, kamo sad da bježim?
|
But saved! though beffled -
whither could I flee?
|
Zadrhtah: pjesma krvnikova ori.
|
A shudder broke me. Far off the
tyrants sang -
|
Daleko. Našim mukama se ruga.
|
With dirty
catch their dismal triumph they shared.
|
I mržnja planu. Ostavi me tuga.
|
When my soft
mood was gone, and hatred flared!
|
|
|
X
|
X
|
|
|
Odjednom k meni miris paljevine
|
MY NOSTRILS suddenly had caught
the scent,
|
Vjetar donese s garišta mog sela;
|
The wind-borne echo of our burning
homes!
|
Miris iz kog se sve sjećanje vine:
|
From ashes rose my youthful years' content -
|
Sve svadbe, berbe, kola i sijela,
|
The weddings, harvests, dances,
and long hours
|
Svi pogrebi, naricaljke, opijela;
|
Beside the hearth - the funerals
with bells and wakes,
|
Sve što je život sijo i smrt žela.
|
All that life's
sower sows and death's scythe takes.
|
|
|
|
|
Gdje je mala sreća, bljesak
stakla,
|
That simple happiness, the
window's glint;
|
Lastavičje gnijezdo, iz vrtića
dah;
|
Swallow and young; or windborne
garden sweet -
|
Gdje je kucaj zipke što se makla,
|
Where? - The unhurried cradle's drowsy
tilt?
|
I na traku sunca zlatni kućni
prah?
|
Or, by the threshold, sunshine at my feet?
|
|
|
|
|
Gdje je vretena zuj, misir hljeba
|
The spindle's whirring, or the
sweetish scent
|
Što s domaćim šturkom slavi život
blag;
|
Or bread - the chairs, the nook,
that all require
|
Gdje su okna s komadićkom neba,
|
But peace - that square of sky the
window bent -
|
Tiha škripa vrata, sveti kućni
prag?
|
Door hinges'
gentle creak, the cosy fire -
|
|
|
|
|
Gdje je zvonce goveda iz štale
|
The cowbell clanging stately from
the byre? -
|
Što, ko s daljine, zvuk mu kroz
star pod
|
Afar, it seemed, through the floor
boards seeped in
|
U san kapne; dok zvijezde pale
|
Drip drip in sleep, while one by
one the stars
|
Stoljeća mira nad sela nam i rod.
|
The ages lit, o'er villages and kin.
|
|
|
|
|
Nigdje plača.
Smijeha. Kletve. Pjesme.
|
No weeping -
only oaths and bawdy yells.
|
Mjesec, putujući, na garišta sja:
|
The moon above a ruined village
stands.
|
Ugasnuo s dola dalek jecaj česme,
|
no more below the house the
well-hoist spelling
|
Crni se na putu lešina od psa...
|
Peace. Death's
odour only fills our land.
|
|
|
|
|
Zar ima mjesto bolesti i muka
|
Is there a place where suffering and pain
|
Gdje trpi, pati, strada čovjek
živ?
|
Men suffer, and
endure, but yet alive?
|
Zar ima mjesto gdje udara ruka
|
Is there a place where men forget
again
|
I živiš s onim koji ti je kriv?
|
And live with those who wronged them
by their side?
|
|
|
|
|
Zar ima mjesto gdje još vrište djeca,
|
Is there a place, where children
cry delight,
|
Gdje ima otac kćerku, majku sin?
|
A father has a daughter - son, a
mother?
|
Zar ima mjesto gdje ti sestra jeca
|
Where even dreaded death is calm,
and white,
|
I brat joj stavlja mrtvoj na grud
krin?
|
With lilies for farewell, placed
by brother?
|
|
|
|
|
Zar ima mjesto gdje prozorsko
cvijeće
|
Is there a place, where flowers on
the sill
|
Rubi još radost i taži još bol?
|
Enhance a pleasure or a grief
diminish?
|
Zar ima većeg bogatstva i sreće
|
Could there be happiness or wealth
more full
|
Nego što su škrinja i klupa i stol?
|
Than oaken table, chest, and humble bench?
|
|
|
|
|
Iz šume, s rikom gora, prasak muko
|
The forest suddenly rattled,
magnified
|
Zatutnji. Za njim tanad raspršeno
|
From hill to hill, and bullet
scattering squeaked
|
Ciknu, ko djeca njegova. Pijuko
|
Like thunder children near me;
high and wide,
|
Nada mnom zvuk visoko, izgubljeno.
|
Their errand missed, they sighed,
and
disappeared.
|
Bitka se bije. Osvetnik se javlja!
|
Comrades were come, the avenging
battle started!
|
Osvijetli me radost snažna poput
zdravlja.
|
Light as strong as health lit up my
heart!
|
|
|
|
|
Planu u srcu sva ognjišta rodna,
|
All the hearths of home blazed up in
me,
|
Osvetom buknu krvi prolivene
|
And every sinew swelled with
vengeance for
|
Svaka mi žila, i ko usred podna
|
Our bodies they had pillaged - I
could see
|
Sunce Slobode razbi sve mi sjene.
|
The midday sun shrink gloom to liberty.
|
Držeć se smjera garišnoga dima,
|
The smoking village as my nostrils' guide,
|
Jurnuh, poletjeh k vašim
pucnjevima.
|
I strove to take my stand my men
beside.
|
|
|
|
|
Tu ste me
našli ležati na strani,
|
Then it was you found me, still by
the path
|
Braćo rođena, neznani junaci,
|
Oh my own kin, my unknown
warriors!
|
Pjevali ste, i ko kad se dani
|
Singing you came, like the first
quickening swath
|
Široka svjetlost, kao božji znaci,
|
Of fruitful light, which,
heralding the day,
|
Okupala me. Rekoh: zar su snovi?
|
Bathed me. I tried to ask - for
had I
swoonned,
|
Tko je to pjevo? Tko mi rane povi?
|
To dream
of singing hands? O
bowhund my wounds?
|
|
|
|
|
Oćutjeh na čelu meku ruku žene;
|
Upon my forehead moved a girl's
cool fingers,
|
Sladak glas začuh: „Partizani,
druže!
|
Upon my ears sweet music “Comrade
partisan,
|
Počivaj! Muke su ti osvećene!”
|
Rest now in peace, your agonies
are requited!”
|
Ruke se moje prema glasu pruže,
|
I reached my hands in dark towards
her voice,
|
Bez riječi, i
dosegnuh nježno lice,
|
Without a word
I touched the tender face,
|
Kosu i pušku, bombu vidarice.
|
The hair, grenades, and rifle of my
grace.
|
|
|
|
|
Zajecao sam i
još i sad plačem
|
Began to sob and
never have ceased yet,
|
Jedino grlom, jer očiju nemam,
|
With throat alone, for now I have no eyes;
|
Jedino srcem, jer su suze mačem
|
With heart alone, for now my tears
the knife
|
Krvničkim tekle zadnji puta. Nemam
|
Of murderers gouged away. I am deprived
|
Zjenice da vas vidim i nemam moći,
|
Of eyes to see you, and that
strength is gone
|
A htio bih, tugo! - s vama u boj poći.
|
Which I so
need, to fight too, till we've won.
|
|
|
|
|
Tko ste? Odakle? Ne znam, al se
grijem
|
But who are you, and whence? I only know
|
Na vašem svjetlu. Pjevajte. Jer
ćutim
|
That your light
warms me. All - Sing! for I can feel
|
Da sad tek živim, makar možda
mrijem.
|
At last I live; even though I'm
dying now,
|
Svetu Slobodu i
Osvetu slutim...
|
This in sweet Liberty, with
Vengeance stolen
|
Vaša mi
pjesma vraća svjetlo oka,
|
From death. Your singing gives my
eyes back light,
|
Ko narod silna, ko sunce visoka.
|
Strong as our People, and our sun as
bright.
|
|
|
~ KRAJ ~
|
~ THE END
~
|
|
|
|
translation: © [year unknown]
Alec Brown
|
Una pausa
del poeta Ivan Goran Kovacic durante la
offensiva tedesca (1943)
|